I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize