Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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