And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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