Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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