I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
