it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
