sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
