I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
