it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He? As in you personified your dick?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
