I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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