just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
