I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
two words: eviction party
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
