wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
