Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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