im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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