Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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