Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Randomize
