I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize