Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
