giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
