i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize