it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
