She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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