I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
