Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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