I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
