I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
