I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
