I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
