you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I bet he comes in French.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
my poor anus
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
