the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
