I puked a lego.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
