he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
