its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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