We should be called the Road Head Warriors
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
