fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
