I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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