How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
people are starting to question the shark bite story
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
