You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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