One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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