Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
