please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
