if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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