i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
