Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
