I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
