I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
being pregnant is like rehab
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
