YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
