There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
