a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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