Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
