You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
