So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
