physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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