so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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