do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
