When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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