My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
