would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
