Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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